Good Vs Evil

So this was my weekend off, and on Saturday evening and all day yesterday I got to spend some very limited time with my love. My fiance loves to help people and well myself, just couldn't care about others. So we talked about wether or not this made him a better person than me, he goes out of his way to help people because he also believes in Karma. So I got thinking how I could change myself to be more like him in this aspect because; well, I don't help strangers. In fact, I hate people. To me people are like a virus, they take and take and take and take, and don't give anything back, and if anything they feel like not enough has been done for them. Now, I only do things for people that I deem worthy of my time. Once you get into that category you can basically do anything you want and I love you.



Strangers depending on my mood will have a door opened for them and I sometimes smile. For me it's a dog eat dog world and I need to take care of what I need to otherwise someone else is going to get it first and not give me a second thought. It's admirable that my fiance would go out of his way to help someone that maybe he doesn't like (like our room mate) and give her pick ups and take her where she needs to go. For me, I say to bad; if you can afford to order in every night then you can afford a fucking cab. Gas is expensive right now and for you to use us as your cab service to and from work is quite frankly not my responsibility and that's why I don't do it. Does this make me a bad person? Maybe, in fact probably because I don't think of others and in some ways I am selfish. I don't like being taken advantage of, and well I feel like she is taking advantage of us, and she has said out and out that she would fuck my fiance if I wasn't in the picture. So maybe by asking him to give her a ride is fulfilling her need to be ridden like a Mule?




I want to do more for people but maybe this job has fully corrupted me and how I view people and maybe I dont' wanna help people beacause I am forced to help them all day. I find that I just don't care if they find the book that they are looking for or not. I don't care that the book you were looking for had a blue cover and was about a dog, if you have more information then maybe I might give a shit. Or maybe if I took a Barrett .50 CAL to your head I might call an ambulance because then you can't say I didn't help take care of you.


FYI: I am not homicidal!